We had an embodiment class this past week in our Radiant Flow community, connecting with our bodies to open up for more pleasure. In my own reflections, I noticed something.
We tend to think pleasure lives in the moments we're not working, and the pleasure in the working day is the one of getting things done.
I wanted to sit with that a little longer. I don't think I hold all the answers, but my feelings tell me I can definitely open up more to experience more pleasure on a daily basis.
Pleasure is a feeling good in the body, caused by an experience you enjoy, that brings a sense of relaxation and engagement at the same time. And it's easy to think pleasure just comes from choosing the right thing to do.
I do something I like, and pleasure follows. We read everywhere: do what you love.
But when I started looking closer, it felt to me like we are missing a lot in how we could be experiencing our lives.
We live in a society trained to associate the sense of self with the doing. The more you do, the better.
How you do it? It doesn't matter much, as long as it's done.
But just think of how long you spend doing things, and if in the middle of the task we are just pushing harder, what is the life that we are living?
It became clear to me that the what doesn't overcome the how. The how carries more weight than I gave it credit for.
same pottery, same me
I love pottery. It relaxes me, it brings me joy, I get fully engaged in it. Pottery goes straight into the bucket of things that give me pleasure.
But lately, I stopped enjoying it.
I had to pause and ask why.
It wasn't that I fell out of love with pottery. It's that my class fell on Tuesday nights, one of my busiest days. I'd have to drive downtown right when I usually eat dinner, and I'd end up in bed later than I like. The class runs two and a half hours, and most weeks I don't even stay for the whole thing.
I'm too tired. I just want to slow down. It wasn't relaxing anymore.
But it was important to me to have pottery in my schedule, as it was one thing I was doing for myself, so I was getting it done…
Compare that to a Saturday morning class (when I could). I enjoy the drive downtown. I'm fresh. I'm fully present, fully engaged.
Same pottery. Same me. Completely different experience. Experiencing pottery on a Saturday morning was night and day versus a Tuesday night.
the same pattern, the other way
I noticed the same pattern on the other side.
I don't enjoy organizing my documents for taxes, and I have to do that every month. For a long time I scheduled that for a Friday morning, and I'd push through it just to get it done. The pleasure only showed up once the task was over, like a relief. Ahh, it's done.
When I asked myself, what is my relationship to enjoyment in this task? Can I ever enjoy that? I moved it to Monday mornings instead. And somehow, I'm enjoying it. Not just the relief of finishing it. The actual doing of it feels easier, even pleasant.
This might sound simple. But after our class, it hit me how often we build our schedules around what makes sense, or what we think can realistically get done, without ever asking what would actually feel good.
In the disconnection from the body, we set ourselves to be robots, to push through and just get things done, forgetting that life happens in between.
a different question
So now I'm asking a different question. How do I build a routine full of pleasurable moments, even on the days when the what doesn't fit in the bucket of "I like this"?
I don't want to dismiss the what entirely.
If you're building your own business and dreaming of a day when you no longer have to do the things you don't enjoy for most of your day, that question still matters.
Ask yourself what you truly love. But even before you get there, there's a question that matters just as much.
How can you shift your energy right now, in the what you already have, when the what isn't a choice yet?
As simple as it sounds, the how shifts your energy. And shifting your energy opens the field for other things to become possible. It actually helps you connect with the what more easily.
small ways to shift the how
Maybe you don't think you have a choice, but here are some ideas of how you can shift how you do things now. Like me for example, just reorganizing your schedule around your real energy levels, not just what fits on paper.
Adding a small ritual before the activities you find hardest. Playing music while you work. Adding movement in between long stretches of sitting. Giving yourself a break in the middle of the week, even something like a date with yourself that will be followed by a task you enjoy less.
Small as they sound, these things change how you move through everything you do. Pleasure isn't meant to be felt only at the end of a task.
Pleasure is the source you create from.
This isn't about only doing what you love. It's about finding a way to love everything you do.
I don't want you to move through your day just checking things off, numb, like a robot. I want you to feel your day while you're living it, not just when it's finally done.
What is your relationship with pleasure right now? Is there something in your life you stopped enjoying, not because you fell out of love with it, but because of how or when you're doing it?
I'd love to hear it in the comments.
With Love,
Carolina
P.S. Pleasure is the source you create from. And it’s easier to change how you move through a day when you can see where you’re moving from in the first place.
That’s what the Harmony Map gives you. A free assessment, a few minutes long, that reads where you stand right now across the nine frequencies of your business and life. It won’t tell you what to decide. It shows you where you’re deciding from.
Take the Harmony Map and see what it reflects back.